Almost Nothing Matters And I Forgive You

Wow, I understand my inner Catholic. Or is it my inner Christian? Maybe it's just my old, boring inner Jew...but the point is folks...I understand forgiveness now. I done forgive my captors, my oppressors, my abusive bosses. I FORGIVE YOU. I REALLY DO. And why you might be aXing? BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE A FUCK and ALMOST NOTHING MATTERS including you (the aforementioned captors/oppressors/abusers...sidenote sally* I never had captors but you catch my drift)

And how have I stumbled upon this Godly gift -- the gift of forgiveness and the knowledge that don't nuffin really matter....MY CHILDREN. My kids. My little babies.

Sure, I haven't slept in a millenia...and no I've never taken a phone call in my own home because, well, there's simply no point to even attempt a proper conversation that has a "lighty, button mine phone" in the mix...but I'm onto something here (you're thinking, Matt...the people who get intervened on Intervention think they're onto something too...to that I say touche)

I spend the majority of my time pleading with my kids to sleep or not jump off the top of the couch/bookshelf/car...I tried doing Yoga today and two things were using my downward dog as their tunnel (hey, one person's d-ward dog is for sure another person's Holland Tunnel)...and I get mad/upset/frustrated when my two year old screams for Mommy knowing full well that Mommy just left the house (btway, and you know this, they totally agree to and kind of love that Mommy is leaving until she actually leaves and then it's Tripoli up in this bitch)...but I don't have time to hold that grudge anymore....you are simply not that important. And if you stole from me, fucked me in business, plotted against me, prayed for my failure....S'all good mothafucka...I forgive you cuz it don't matter...ALMOST NOTHING DOES.

Don't have the time to care too deeply about outside noise...for there is soooooo much noise right here, inside m'house.

Having children grows you up unless, of course, you are Amber Portwood from 16 & Pregnant/Teen Mom stardom...then having children didn't grow you up (how could it, you had em when you were...well...16 and you're in jail sooooo...)

But these beautiful kids we are so lucky to have shine some kabbalah light right down on our Catholic/Christian/Jewish selves (aren't we all Kabbalists at the end of the day...i mean, kabbalistically speaking)

Be good. I forgive you. Please forgive me. Or don't. I don't give a fuck.