Meesh And The Belly Ain't Got Nothing On This

For those of you who read my blog Meesh And The Belly...HIIIIIIIII!!!!! Those extra I's are really expletives. If you were in my head you would be reading ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME BITCH ASSHOLE DICKFACE FUCK SHIT OH MANNNNNNN I AM SOOOOO FUCKING TIRED. That said....Hi.

Listen mofos...I am a second child. I go to therapy for being a second child. For being a bit shorter than my older brother. For being the one who did not get the natural, and very unusually Jewish sixpack, that my older brother had when he was twelve. I know what it is like to feel less than...shit, I can relate to Marilu Henner...talkin' bout she rememba every day of her life and shit. I, too, remember every day. Bitch must have been a second child. We done remember shit. (For those of you new to my child blogs, i speaks Jack (Jewish Black).

I have been having buyer's remorse. Probably not the most accurate phrase but I like it, so fuck it. (I have become very FUCK IT since the Meesh And The Belly, oh my God I am having my first kid and it is sooooooo amazing, days). Why the remorse? Well, I wrote an entire, heartfelt and oft funny blog about my first daughter...from womb to gigggles....and I have to write about my second daughter...the six month old who is beautiful, amazing...let's get honest...the bitch crawled way too early so she can PLAY WITH HER BIG SISTER...her teeth done come in before they suppose to...she is standing and mocking us (swear to God, she understands irony) and to cherry the cake or ice cream or whatever...she likes to...drumroll....NOT SLEEP...but wait...drumroll...AT ALL!!!!!

I have a Jewish twitch in my forehead (my accupuncturist is working on it) and I might be developing a lazy eye...who the fuck wouldn't when your ass is up at 5 am and forbidden to sleep until never pm.

I love you all...all y'all that have already done what we are doing. I love you, the ones who haven't and question if you should??? I will not answer that for you.

I am one blessed kid. I have in my humble opinion, two stellar girls. They are funny and sweet and huggable as all get out. But I is one tired muthafuc...

But back to the point...oh yes, the point...this is a blog for my second child (and she probs already knows that I was late to the game writing about her)...I will be documenting (if i can remember, because I am sooooooo tired) the trials and tribulations of Meesh And The Kids. Oh, I didn't mention Meesh (the namesake) yet. Here goes: She told me that I should mind my levels regarding laptop time. She was right, I would go on it (to escape) at inopportune times...I surrendered and promised not to do that again. I mean, I was Facebooking and shit like that. Not cool when your kid(s) is hollering at you to have a tea party with invisible cups filled with "purples." The next morning, after i threw my flag in the ring, Meesh is on Gilt Group nearly pushing our 2 year old away.

HIIIIIIIIIIII guys...here we go...MEESH AND THE KIDS.

xoxoxo Gossip Girl